Every once in a while something different may happen. Judging it
as positive or negative attaches consequences which can either enrich or
take away from our experience. It is very good to notices these
opportunities to wake up and check in with ourselves.
My family lost a member in early 2009. Elinor was an aunt to
me; and much more than that to many other people. I would like to
give my condolences to the immediate family as they have experienced a
shocking and great loss.
Elinor passed away far in advance of average life span for her
demographic and income class. From what I understand she
experienced cancer which gave little notice.
The lesson that I draw from this for myself is as follows: A
reminder, our bodies and minds hold onto things. It is very
important to forgive ourselves and forgive others, to let go of the past
hurts, and to be good to ourselves, not beating ourselves up for making
mistakes. Many families have the mentality that strong emotions or
negativity are bad; this inhibits the growth and healing process.
I believe that it is important to be able to grieve, go through sadness,
feel that which feels worse than death, scarier than death, purge,
accept, judge as positive and forgive our selves and others so that we
can relieve the tension from our bodies.
Our bodies are extremely well designed and resilient; however, if
they can become run down they can overcome by tension.
So I invite you, if you are a man, sit with a woman, and if you are a
woman, sit with a man. Communicate, tell the truth about what you
have been telling yourself about what has happened to you in your past,
share your hurts, get them on the outside. Name all the people
involved from the past, forgive them, forgive yourself. Get all
the negative stuff out of your body. All of it. As much as
you can. Make a habit of clearing and supporting each other.
Also, Anger:
I also invite you, when you are alone, to dig into any anger you can
find in your past, and release it. Beat the floor with a pillow or
something else safe. Be somewhere you can scream. Let it all
out. Go into the feeling and get it out. OUT!
In the future: no matter what happens, try to accept what is reality.
Anger is a result of trying to deny and change what is. Anger has
few good uses and is always best expressed in private. It MUST be
expressed.
Judge as little as possible, or judge positively. There is a
law (Polarity) in this world which means there is an opposite to
everything; thus if you can judge something good you can judge it bad.
Look for the good in all instances. Attach positive consequences
to things. Others may be surprised in seeing you do this, but that
ok. It will take you very far in the end.
And watch from now on; whenever something happens: Try to hear and
feel yourself answering this question and take control of the result.
"What this says to me about me is...." Nothing hurts until
we answer that question. In effect, if something happens our
lives, and we judge it as negative, and then answer that question with a
response that hurts us, we are taking away from our experience.
So go ahead, feel the tough feelings, do the work, unwind the tension
in your body. Watch how the world behaves differently towards you
afterwards. (You'll know you've done well when you walk past kids
in the mall and they can't stop looking at you, kids notice energy
similar to theirs...and that is what you've done. It's always been
there you've just stopped hiding it.)
-Lorne
